The Mort Grimes, 10th Century Vol 002
The Mort Grimes Volume 002, 12th Jan 900 Dead Tree Edition 3 Unis TOP NEWS THIS WEEK Highways Hotzones Hit Home We've seen it, driven through it & stopped to gawk at it - Gangland disputes spill out onto Mort's Highways & Byways often enough. But this week things have reached critical mass for Mort as Crosstown Traffic & The Skidz rocket into a huge Gangland dispute. Our interviews turned up vital claims & evidence (Local Looks, Page 7) as Crosstown Traffic claim the Skidz started the affair when they blasted their lads 'With a Thresher hired Gun!' - Powerarmor suit & all! The Skidz claim they came across some of their lads all wrecked up & just needed some to teach those KTs lads some manners. Well this week we've had 41 incidents spill into the freeways (Snag the best photos on page 12 - or submit your own for a 200 uni prize if we print & 30 unis if we publish them online! See our website for details) Now predictably Mort's Shivers have responded - but with the freeway congestion, their shiver teams usually ended up being the cleanup crews. Of course, with the escalating fighting Red BPNs have started getting issues & that has improved things - but if you see gangsters out cruising, you'd best duck and hide, lest you get caught up in their bruisin'! Read all about the history of KT & Skidz on page 13 in our Homegrown History Section. Bearhouse Solutions from Dept of R&R! As we reported last week, Placebo hits continue to drain Mort's Warehouses & leave SLA Industries running short on all sorts of goods. Now with the snags on the freeways, crossfire & gangsters moving about, hitting every likely target for a few quick unis to get more ammo, the warehousing shortage has become an epidemic! Why they say Captain Crunch Cereals are emptying off the shelves & painaway products are missing from half the lower levels. But the new Department of Reclamation & Resupply, R&R for short, has come to the rescue by offering an entire S class foldship Hauler full of much needed supplies. They say they were aware of the troubles & have organised their biggest ship to be fully loaded with vital supplies for not just every department but also every citizen! The Department of R&R is in the process of setting up makeshift delivery depots all over uptown & downtown to ensure every citizen has a chance to collect the goods they need. Why even Mr Slayer Himself will be attending the grand opening of the sector 0 Uptown Depot in a massive Red Carpet affair. What does this mean for you? Well on page 19 we've printed up a Standard Requisition form for you all to use! That's right, you get to requisition basic supplies just like any new operative! But not only that, but our intrepid reporters have sought out the Depart of R&R and worked together with their staff to create some resupply quick lists for various basic homewares, pantry fillers & other interesting goodies that the Department is just happy to give away! That's right, they are giving these goodies away! You don't even have to pay for the form! Because the Mort Grimes brings you the very best! And if you use one of these 'quick supply' packs, you'll go into the running to win one of ten classic cars ranging from a Pristine 801 Augustus Stylus, 751 Dodger - and even the rare Glass Ceiling Hoververtible! Details & photos on page 20! Thresher Turns Tables on Topping Ops This week photos have been hitting the waves about some Power Armor suits rumored to be Thresher Agents running about Mort. Whilst at first our skeptics thought these weren't Thresher models, we've since looked into our archives & our rapid researchers discovered that these are indeed older models of Thresher Equipment. Which raises questions as to why they are surfacing here & now? Could Thresher finally be forced to use it's oldest, most run down equipment? Has the big SLA finally started to pressure these warring elites into the poorhouse? Or perhaps this has more to do with the new access to the Dept of R&R - a true haven for old supplies & goods... We've hired some discreet operatives of our own to investigate the matter & bring back the latest on this new department and it's possible first form of corruption! Could Thresher have already inserted itself into the Department? Or is this just some old vets who've finally decided that now is the time to strike & bring Chaos to our heavenly SLA Industries? If you have any Thresher Sightings, submit your info & pics on our Thresher Watch page now! MAL Unviels new Tech to answer Phantom Pregnancy Market We've all heard about the DAA's in last weeks edition - but what you haven't heard is that MAL & even FEN are taking this new market very seriously. Whilst they aren't primarily concerned with the home pet market, it seems the weapons giants have been noticing that some folks like to 'ride' the larger DAA's and use them to get about Mort central. Why with Phantom Pregency talking about possible flying units that can take advantage of the airlines usually reserved for shuttles & SCAFs (pending Mort Airwaves Control Approval) FEN, MAL & even Augustus Motors are getting concerned about the future of the home vehicle market! So to answer this new market segment, MAL & FEN have teamed up with Augustus Motors to start producing their own lines of robotised Personally Expedition Transports - PETs for short. These new new lines of robot PETs will come in a variety of shapes and sizes - with the initial range being released as a limited edition production run of mythology 'monsters' & extinct aliens from various foriegn planets across the known galaxy. The Infamous Unicorns from Princess 007 & the Dark Steeds from the Flying Knights of Planet Eronia, are two prime examples. FEN also promises to release some models designed after the infamous Mezosoic Pleasure Planet - it's giant reptilian species could make for some interesting choices, especially since FEN is offering to produce these units in a variety of sizes that will accommodate anything from a single Operative to an entire squad. Meanwhile MAL Arms will be focusing on the myths & legends of SLA's past, producing designs modelled after the biggest, baddest, meanest monsters & animals SLA Troops have ever fought across our 10 centuries of war! To aid in these endevours the Ministry of War & the Department of Archaeology are releasing a variety of files ot the manufacturers on the various beasties & amazing animals they think would look just amazing striding beneath a team of fully armed Operatives ready to go hunting! No release dates just yet folks, but a prototype exhibition will begin in two weeks time for everyone who wants to see a part of SLA's history come to life - with all the claws & teeth it should have! TV GUIDE Alien Sex Channel 5pm Cuddles the Stormer Cuddles gets close to Holder & CummadoreUs tonightt. 6:30pm Wraiths Hotzone Catia delves into the Coldest Wraith Sexclubs for a all Kittens special night - Mind the furballs Catia! 8pm The Dr. R’th show explores Interspecies Datin Dr. R'th delves into the inhuman psyche in this fiery special! Don't forget ASC+12, the all repeats channel! SIC TV 5pm Gorezone High Velocity Splash Edition! 7pm Dr Fry looks into the best ways to handle Carnivious Pig Bacon. 8:30pm Captain Crunch vs The Thresher Armada Captain's newest Movie hitting the waves! Channel 107, Shopping Network 5:30pm Clueless Cammie Cuts Loose on Downtown Specials 6:45pm Jimmy Dew's absolutely new Ballistic Knit, Practical Formalwear for every Op, presented by the infamous Silver Bells themselves! 7:10pm Shoppers Delight: Phantom Pregnancy's DAA Special offer! Check out their preview on the Evercute Range Today! 8pm Slick Savage on Shotguns Sureshot's Sure you'll Standup over their Sexy Shotgun range! Contract Circuit Warning: Level 34, Sector DS-11 is currently being prepared for the next weeks event. All Contract Killers are asked to contact Greig Ogarious for sign up information at 02-231-2123. The new season is only into it's second week & so the odds are still good for newcomers & oldies alike! Call today for limited run Rooftop Moonlit Dinner Seats with free Telescopic viewing windows today! OBITUARIES Operative Letsai IkickA's Human, SCL 6.3b, was found dead early this week caught up in a freeway firefight. This impervious Cloak Agent was well known for a solid work ethic, clean history - though it seems even a career in cloak can't shield you from a fist full of grenades. Tragically killed whilst defending a Sureshot Delivery Truck from Skidz Gangsters, her family are offering a reward of 1000c for information on the gangsters in question! Interested parties can contact Delia on 06-053-04356. A public funeral shall be held at Parkwoods Funeral Home, Uptown Sector 12A. Jenny Fergets, Human, went missing this week, presumed dead, after Thresher blew up his Automotive Shop. The fire consumed the building, though thankfully her longtime partner Andrew was away from home at the time and spared this fate. Jenny will be remember for her willing smile & willingness to always help out the local community - be it carrying groceries, fixing the drains or doing up an old junker on the cheap for those that can't afford it. Jenny will be celebrated at Shuttlebay 29, Uptown Airport, this friday at 4pm before her ashes will be placed into a shuttle and scattered across the galaxy in one last Memorial ride. Family & Friends are welcome to attend. THE SHIVER REPORT Shiver Fortresses across Mort would like to announce that freeway & highway patrols have been doubled due to the gangland disturbances that are constantly occuring - with additional sleeper squads & operative BPNs being used to bolster numbers & reduce response times. Captain Hendriks of Fortress 041 has promised to do everything in his power - including requisitioning new Cannibal Sector Surviellance Tanks & other War World level equipment from the Department of War to put a visible presence that even Krosstown Traffic wouldn't touch. These measures would also help contain the new Thresher Threat - but it's up to the Ministry of War to decide if Mort truly needs the equipment. THE OFFICIAL WORD Cloak Division would like to remind all operatives that the Department of Internal Affairs doesn't exist. It's a made up department used by various Soft Company Agents as a fake disguise to cover their misdeeds & trick hard working Operatives into doing the wrong thing. Any Agents identifying themselves as IA agents should be arrested & submitted to Cloak Division immediately for debriefing. No contact shoould be made with the rogue agents as their Soft Company Memandra might incriminate you intentionally or unintentionally into doing the wrong thing! Remember, Cloak is Right, IA is just a fright! LETTERS TO THE EDITOR As editor of The Mort Times, Mort Dead Tree Edition, I try to answer all questions concerning our paper and the reports in a public forum. -Eric Larsen, SCL7C, MG Dear MG, Where are our boys at? I was driving down the highway and there was not one but three gangs whizzing about in a highway shootup! Where are our ops at? Monarch can't handle the guns & the Shivers are just too slow to react! What can we do to get them Ops out and about, doing the right thing? Next you'll hear Darknight is cleaning up the streets for us instead... - Racheal, age 14 Dear Racheal, Well that's just it - The Ops are now on the job. SLA Industries has put the call out and now the red tapes cleared, we've got more shivers & operatives working the roads than ever before! And with Thresher looming, they'll have their hands full sorting out hte mess! But don't you worry - still, it might be best to avoid the freeways for a while longer yet. Those Skidz & KTers just aint done with each other yet! ------ Dear MG, Thresher Fresher, its Thresher Faker more like! Why are we posting these grainy glimpses of what might be antique power armor like its a huge threat? Who thinks it's going to matter - SLA's new Dogeybone lines will crush those flimsy suits easy! And if not, a couple of 17mm rounds to the head will cover any problem! When are people gonna learn that Thresher is just a hoax & not the real threat. Darknight are the true blight on SLA! - Anon, Retired Op. Dear Anon, We too would like to get better evidence on this 'Thresher Threat'. Right now they've been blasting in and out so fast people haven't got time to snap photos on their phones - or if they do, all they snag is a black glimpse of a power arm, not power armor. Thats why we at the Mort Grimes are onto the case & hiring real Operatives to look into the real problem - if Thresher really are hear, where are they pulling those supplies from & how many more of them can we expect before their chaos is over? Remember folks, will give up to 200 unis to anyone who gives us good photos of this Thresher threat - and our operatives will be interested in any sightings & info the public might snag too! CLASSIFIEDS FEN Power Reaper & two ammo drums, full, for sale. Retiring Operative seeks to downsize his gear before moving offworld to a Pleasure Planet for some much needed R&R. Contact Reggie Rockz on 04-345-12453 Armored Cruiser up for grabs, this is a custom rig pulling a Volvo V-Max Nuclear Cell Engine, 6 wheel drive, Individual independent axles, FEN Dropshuttle Armor plates & twin electronic firing turrets up for sale. All weaponry has been removed, as per resale code 114.4b. This beauty hauls a squad of 6, fully internalised power, has ramps & racks for roof mounting equipment - including dual motorcycle racks, camper tent options & a foldout outdoor shower/toilet & hotplate cooker arrangement. The perfect little Armored Camper for Operatives who need the armor - but not all the bulk of a battle taxi. Can sell weapons seperately, price from 46,000c - Call Big Yellow at 03-311-7546. Medical Operative with Paramedic & Surgery Skills wanted. Alien Biology Experience a big +. Contact Sidelined, SCL 10A, of Shotemup at 02-122-0575 for Applications. FEN AR for sale. Good nic, some scratches, perfectly functional weapon that will mow down carrien in seconds. Comes with 3 full clips of ammo & recoil baffling & carry strap. 430 credits ONO. Contact MisMash, SCL 7A, Squad BangersnMash at 23-231-2414. Retired SCAF for parting out, missing hover engine but still has main powercore & automotive engine. Exterior panels all in great nick! Parts from 100c, Call Reg on 04-345-12453. FEN Split System Air Con, suitable for Home or Battle Taxi, 9kw power, includes remote & removed by licensed SLA Employee. 230c ono, call Georgie on 12-594-21385. Vehicle Vectular! You need it, we got it! Call Antonies Auctions today to checkout latest line up of refurbished trucks, cars, motorbikes & armored vehicles. 65% off RRP minimum! Cars cheaper, noone else is close to these prices! Forget Retail! Call Antonies Auctions now for all your SLA equipment needs! We thoroughly check all equipment before it goes up for the block! Only 10% Buyers Premium, Tax Exemptions Available! Guaranteed bargains! Call Antonies now, 37-Ant-onies!